Written by Alice Child, Somatic Sexologist
Sydney-based Somatic Sexologist and Sex & Intimacy Counsellor Alice Child explains the G spot; what it is, how to find it, and how to give it incredible pleasure.
This guide contains general advice only. If you need more tailored advice, please book in a session.
For some people the G Spot is a pleasure spot that can lead to knee shaking orgasms and squirting! For others…not so much! That's why it’s so important to listen to your body and communicate.
Is the G-spot real?
Yes! The G-spot is very much real. It is a part of female pleasure anatomy. If you have a vulva and a vagina - you have a g spot!
Why is the G spot surrounded with so much mystery?
The G-spot is shrouded with mystery for many reasons.
It can be tricky to find - It sits in a different place for everyone
It feels very different depending on how turned on you are - This means you often can’t feel it at all if you're not turned on yet! AND THIS TAKES TIME!
No education -very few people know female anatomy, what it is or how to stimulate it properly. This means lots of people have bad or uncomfortable experiences and decide it’s not for them
What it feels like really varies from person to person - For some people it is a very pleasurable spot that can lead to knee shaking orgasms and female ejaculation/squirting! For others…not so much! Stimulation here might feel average or even painful or uncomfortable. That's why it’s so important to listen to your body & communicate (sex should NEVER be painful)
What IS the G spot?
The G-spot (or G-crest) is actually not a spot. It’s a whole ‘crest’ of spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra - the tube that carries wee from the bladder and out of the body. This is called the ‘urethral sponge’ and the G-spot sits somewhere along there. You can feel it by inserting a finger and stroking the top wall of the vagina (think “in and up!’’ heading towards your belly button!)
Where is the G spot?
For some people their G spot is very near the outside of the body (only a centimetre or so inside the vagina) but for most people it’s about 1-2 inches or so inside.
For others, it might be too deep to reach with fingers alone. That’s where G-spot toys, vibrators and wands come in!
Why does the G spot feel good when touched?
The G-Spot - like the clitoris - is made out of erectile tissue, meaning it fills with blood when you’re aroused / turned on. This means it becomes bigger, more sensitive, and more pleasurable to touch. (yep, we get erections too!)
Remember - this takes time, and it only feels good when you are already really really aroused / engorged. I’m talking 20-30 minutes! So slow down and stimulate OUTSIDE the body (with vulva massage and clitoris/vulva stimulation) before doing any internal touch.
You might read some things about the G spot also feeling great because you are massaging the clitoris from the inside, and that is also true!
The clitoris has a whole network inside the body, branching out into two ‘legs’ and ‘bulbs’ around the vagina. Internal touch from fingers, a toy, or a penis can often stimulate other parts of the clitoris from the inside - especially when you are really turned on and it’s filled with blood.
What does the G spot feel like?
When you’re really really turned on the G spot is filled with blood, and this ‘erection’ means you can actually feel it. It feels slightly ribbed, harder and textured and might feel really pleasurable.
When you're not turned it often just feels spongy and like the rest of the vagina. It might feel uncomfortable or even painful.
How can I find the G spot?
You can stimulate the G Spot by gently (and with lots of lube and ONLY when they are ready) inserting a toy or finger into the vagina and stroke the top wall of the vagina. Think towards the belly button.
I recommend doing this in lots of different ways to work out what feels good for you / them because it really is very different for everyone. It can also feel different one day to the next so open communication is key! Isn’t it always?
Strokes for hitting the G Spot
Using your fingers to find the G Spot:
The ‘Come Hither’ - gently insert your index finger or first two fingers inside the vagina, getting them to breathe deeply. Slowly start to move in a ‘come here’ motion towards the belly button. Start slow, and see if you can feel their G spot. If it feels good, experiment with building intensity, and find a rhythm they enjoy. If you’re not sure - ask!
The Pulse - Hold your hand still and gently pulse your finger or the pad of your thumb against the G-spot. Start slow and gentle, and increase speed and pressure if it is feeling good. Gradually Increasing to a harder, faster pulse at the same time as clitoral touch can feel amazing (and is often what causes squirting!)
The Rocker - Put your middle two fingers inside the vagina palm up so that your pinky and index finger can massage and slide either side of the labia as you enter. Slowly start to move your hand in and out, gliding the pads of the middle two fingers across the G spot.
How to use a G spot toy to find the G Spot
All of these motions are great on somebody else's body, but it can be reallyyyy tricky on your own to reach your g spot and give it the great, continuous stimulation you’re craving.
Look for a vibrator or a toy with a curved or a bulbed end if you want to explore G spot stimulation on your own!
There are lots of different material options (glass, silicon, crystal, metal, ceramic) and many are also vibrators for extra stimulation.
How to use a toy to pleasure the G spot
De-armouring - Slowly place the tip of the toy at the entrances of your vagina. Just hold and deep breathe. This is called de-armouring. Feel your body start to relax and soften, and if you like add a gentle, slow pulse.
Hold, breathe and squeeze - Once you’re ready, breathe deeply and let your body breathe in the toy at its own pace, curved end in. Allow the toy to press gently against your G spot. Just hold and breathe, and experiment with different pressures & placements. Squeeze your kegel floor muscles around the toy. Can you find a spot that feels best?
The Pulse - Gently pulse the toy against the G-spot. Start slow and gentle, and increasing the speed and pressure if it is feeling good. Gradually Increasing to a harder, faster pulse at the same time as clitoral touch can feel amazing (and is often what causes squirting!)
In and out -With lots of lube, try the traditional ‘in and out’ trusting motion to build pleasurable friction in the vagina, starting with long slowwwwww movements getting faster if you enjoy that feeling. Allow the top of the toy to slide against your G spot as you move. Tease yourself by almost removing the toy altogether, before pushing it deeper.
Rocking - Other people prefer the sensation of rocking the toy rather than ‘thrusting’ it in and out. Push down with your hand, meaning the top of the toy pushes up against the G spot in a rhythm you enjoy.
Alice x
Alice Child - Somatic Sexologist, Sex Therapy & Sex Counsellor - helps people achieve happier and healthier sex lives through 1:1 sex coaching, couples sex counselling, hens parties, and workshops. Book a session here.