The Uncensored History and Psychology of Group Sex

Written by Alice Child, Somatic Sexologist

Somatic Sexologist Alice Child explores the notorious history of orgys and explains our fascination with sex parties and group sex

This guide contains general advice only. If you need more tailored support, please book in a session.

Group sex has existed since the dawn of man, and - trust me - 2025 is no exception. Orgies are happening everywhere - you just need to know where to look! 

Let’s face it, everyone's a little titillated by the idea of an orgy. But a room full of naked people licking wine off each other and enjoying a bit of group hanky panky raises a lot of questions - and eyebrows. 

Although some might argue that we live in a sexually liberated world, where sex toys, dating apps, casual sex, and sex-positive education are all becoming increasingly normalised (thank goodness), the reality is that sexual shame is still pervasive. Most topics regarding sex and pleasure are still taboo and are not spoken about openly. 

Group sex, in particular, elicits conflicting emotions. The word ‘orgy’ evokes a mixture of squeamishness, curiosity, shame and arousal.

But group sex is not as unusual as you might think. In fact, as a Sex Counsellor and Somatic Sexologist, group play is one of the most common fantasies I hear about from my clients. Lots of people want to explore but lack the vocabulary, communication tools, knowledge, confidence or community to help them turn their desires into a safe reality.

Group sex has existed since the dawn of man, and - trust me - 2025 is no exception. Orgys are happening everywhere - you just need to know where to look! 

So why do we have such a complicated relationship with them? Join me as I explore the history of the orgy, the psychology behind them, and why we find them so hot and shameful. Perhaps the Romans were onto something after all…

What is an orgy?

‘Orgy’ is a commonly used word to describe any form of consensual group sex, usually involving four or more people. This can involve people of all genders, sexualities or identities.

What is the origin of group sex?

The word orgy came from the word orgia, meaning secret worship. Although this may not sound very erotic, the Greeks were particularly good at turning anything into a sex party. Their night-time secret prayer meetings to Dionysus involved music, dancing, drinking and animal sacrifices. One thing led to another, and hey presto - ‘orgys’ were born. 

These wild celebrations were later adopted by the Romans. The worship of Bacchus, god of wine, led to the famous Bacchanalia festivals, which are still celebrated in various forms all over the world today. According to Roman historian Suetonius, these parties were famously depraved affairs, and "teams of wantons of both sexes, selected as experts in deviant intercourse, copulated in triple unions to excite [Caesars'] flagging passions."

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What was the purpose of Roman orgys?

These celebrations were not just about sex and pleasure. They were designed to be as wild, liberating, and transgressive as possible, and they often involved violence. Revelers sought transcendence, ecstatic escape from reality, and a union with the divine. Oh my.

According to psychologist Neel Burton, Roman orgys served an important function in society. They “permitted people to escape from their artificial and restricted social roles and regress into a more authentic state of nature. The orgy kept it under control, preventing it from surfacing in more insidious and perfidious ways.”

The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche recognised this human impulse for irrationality and chaos as a primal and universal force of humanity.

Put simply, Roman orgys gave people a much-needed break from normal life. Like modern holidays or festivals, but cheaper, more effective and arguably much more fun.

So was it only the Romans that had group sex?

Absolutely not! Although the Romans are probably the most well-known for their wild sex festivals and love of debauchery, there are endless accounts of sex parties, festivals and public celebrations of sexuality throughout human history. 

Traditional Pagan ‘Maypole’ dancing in England was a fertility ritual for May Day adapted from the Roman Floralia religious festivals. People danced around a gigantic phallic symbol before descending into the fields for a group romp to celebrate the coming of spring. "What clipping, what culling, what kissing and bussing, what smooching and slobbering one of another," commented the 16th-century Philip Stubbes.

There are multiple accounts of other group sexuality and fertility festivals across Italy, Greece, France, Ancient Egypt and Asia.

 It seems that humans have always found a huge sense of celebration, liberation and belonging through the outward expression of sexuality. 

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So why are orgys and group sex such a taboo?

So why are orgys and group sex such a taboo?

Historically, as Christianity took hold within the Roman empire, the wild Bacchanalia festivals and orgys were seen with increasing disapproval. As the Bible says; “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarrelling and jealousy.” Romans 13.  

Over time, the Latin word orgia came to mean something depraved or sinful. 

Christianity actively upholds the institution of marriage, revering an exclusive and holy union between a man and a woman before God. Monogamy was established as the new cultural norm, and homosexuality was not accepted.

Sex, in general, was also seen as dangerous. It was a time without contraception, and incurable sexually transmitted diseases such as syphallis plauged the general population. The result was a conservative and sex-negative society, where sex and pleasure were seen as sinful, dirty and wrong. 

Despite modern medicine, the invention of numerous forms of contraception, reformations in laws and views reglarding LGBTQA+ rights, and changing viewpoints on monogamy, these sex-negative influences are still widely felt today.

Sexual shame is pervasive, monogamy is still the accepted cultural norm, and orgys still carry much of the disapproval and squeamishness of the past.

Why is group sex such a common sexual fantasy?

Because it’s fun, it’s naughty, and it’s out of the ordinary!

When it comes to sexual excitement and arousal, Sex Therapist and Psychologist Jack Morin says that Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement. This means that as well as attraction/desire, humans need some form of obstacle, newness or tension to get really turned on by something. 

Not convinced? Think back to your hottest sexual experience. Was there some form of ‘newness’ or ‘novelty’ about the situation that made it particularly exciting? Perhaps it was with a new sexual partner, in an unfamiliar or exciting location, or trying a new toy, position or role play.  Newness and novelty bring feelings of nervousness and uncertainty, and these are huge aphrodisiacs when it comes to arousal and excitement. 

‘Naughtiness’ is also a huge aphrodisiac. Jack Morin names it as one of the four erotic cornerstones of human sexuality. It’s why forbidden relationships, kinky sex, or ‘breaking the rules’ are huge turn-ons. 

Orgys provide a melting pot of novel experiences and emotions. Fear of the unknown mixes with excitement, naughtiness, embarrassment, titillation, insecurity, joy, desire, shame, and everything in between.

Are orgys ‘normal’?

When it comes to human sexuality, there is no such thing as ‘normal’! Every single person has a unique sexual blueprint, and sexual experimentation and exploration is a healthy part of the human experience. 

As long as sexual activity involves enthusiastically consenting adults, and it is safe, fun, and pleasurable for all involved, then go for it! 

As a Somatic Sexologist and Sex Educator, I have found that group sex (and desiring group sex) is a very common fantasy. Many people happily and healthily explore it - alone or with a partner. Using contraception, practicing safer sex, and testing for STIs regularly will help keep you and your community safe.

What are the potential sexual benefits of group sex?

When it comes to sex, staying curious and trying new things nearly always leads to amazing discoveries. This is because curiosity activates our nervous system and releases an incredible array of neurotransmitters and hormones into the body.

If you’re in a couple and you’re feeling curious about group play, opening up your relationship and exploring ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be an amazing way to expand your sexual experiences together while also deepening your own connection and communication.

If you’re single, group sex can be a great way to explore your sexuality and experience and discover new fantasies, partners, community and erotic situations.  

New sexual experiences also help us stay more present, excited and ‘in the moment’ during sex, instead of ‘switching off’ and falling back into old routines or habits. 

How do I have an orgie?

Here are some things you could try to happily and safely begin to explore the world of group sex and orgys:

• Find your community on Red Hot Pie!: Signing up for a dating app or community group such as RHP is a great chance to meet like-minded, sex-positive people.

  Choosing your favourite pictures and writing your profile is a fun experience in itself. Plus, it’s a great chance to ask other people about their experiences with sex parties, events and ENM in your local area. 

• Watch group-sex porn: Choose porn that shows different threesomes or group sex situations, and chat about it during or afterwards. What was hot for you? What was not? What did it make you feel in your body? 

• Watch a strip tease: Consider watching a strip show, burlesque or strip tease. Would you feel comfortable getting - or watching your partner receive -  a lap dance? Make sure you talk about any boundaries or fears beforehand, and always have a debrief afterwards. 

• Flirting: If you’re in a couple, flirting with other people in front of each other is a fun, safe way of testing the waters of being more sexually open and playful. Again, consider how it made you feel? What specifically did you enjoy about the experience? 

• Get some sex-positive education: There are some amazing ENM books, podcasts and resources out there. I’d recommend going and chatting to a sex coach like myself and buying yourself a copy of the Ethical Slut.

Best,

Alice x

Alice Child - Somatic Sexologist, Sex Therapy & Sex Counsellor - helps people achieve happier and healthier sex lives through 1:1 sex coaching, couples sex counselling, hens parties, and workshops. Book a session here.