Written by Alice Child, Somatic Sexologist
Sydney-based Somatic Sexologist and Sex & Intimacy Counsellor Alice Child explains sex games for couples and how they can enhance connection, communication, and chemistry (both inside and outside the bedroom!).
Pillow Play contains general advice only and is not designed to be a replacement for Sex Therapy. If you need more tailored support please book in a session
"Honestly the best foreplay we have ever had! It's incredible how much we still have to learn about each other despite being together for so long"
Sex games for couples are a great way to deepen your connection with your partner, feeling inspired and safe to try new things in a playful, open-minded way.
Not only can they help you deepen your chemistry and connection as a couple inside and outside the bedroom, but they will also teach you vital skills for a happy life together.
What are sex games for couples?
Sex and intimacy games are literal games that you can play with your partner to deepen your sexual connection, confidence and chemistry. They have been designed to spice up date nights and bring more novelty, playfulness, fun and newness into your sex and intimacy.
Sex and intimacy games are a fun way to learn new skills; helping you learn more about each other (and yourself!), practice your sexual communication, and feel more confident when it comes to things like initiating sex, sexual touch, asking for what you want and turning each other on.
Pillow Play - developed by Somatic Sexologist Alice Child - is a collection of 15 fun (and educational!) sex & intimacy games and videos for couples to play along at home, designed to help couples learn new skills in the bedroom and spice up date nights.
What is Pillow Play?
Pillow Play is an online sex and intimacy course for couples with a difference - rather than just focusing on sex education, the focus is on playfulness, curiosity and fun!
Going from mild to seriously spicy, there are 15 games in total. They cover 3 levels:
Level 1: Desires and Boundaries 💕
Level 2: Touch and Bodies 💆♀️
Level 3: Erotic Exploring 🔥
The games cover skills like sexual communication, tantric massage, sensual touch, exploring fantasies and boundaries, trying new things, navigating different libidos, erotic touch, edging, dirty talk, exploring kink, sexual confidence, tantra, and role play - plus much much more!
Pillow Play is all about taking the pressure off sex and empowering couples to learn and try new things with one another in a pressure free environment.
What are the benefits of playing sex and intimacy games?
Here are 8 reasons why Alice developed these games, and the benefits that they can have on your relationship:
1. More fun
Did you know that according to the Gottman Institute, 85% of couples who go to therapy are missing a sense of fun in their relationship?
Get rid of boring and disconnected Netflix date nights - it’s time to switch off your screens and play together!
Sex games for couples are a great new way to deepen your connection and chemistry with your partner in a fun and playful safe space.
2. Spice up routine sex
In long term relationships, it is quite common for sex to become repetitive and routine, or even to feel like a chore. And nobody wants that!
‘Sex’ is many things, but so many couples get stuck in a rut when it comes to sex, and forget to try new things.
Couples that explore new ways to increase pleasure are 5x more likely to be happier in their relationships. Trying new things is vital to keeping sex and intimacy exciting, fun and pleasurable, and to maintain your sexual desire.
The games are very diverse (and often involve no penetration or genital touch at all!), and will keep you both guessing, playing and learning next date night!
3. Less Pressure
Many couples associate sex with awkward conversations and pressure. And pressure is never sexy.
These games have been developed to help us remember what intimacy should be about - pleasure, fun and connection. They will help you take pressure off the table, and instead bring more pleasure, fun, and playfulness into your relationship.
4. Overcome mismatched libido
The number 1 reason couples come to see me is because of different sexual desires or sex drives - also referred to as mismatched libido.
This is a really challenging situation, and many couples have fallen into a cycle where one person (with the higher sex drive) feels rejected/resentful and the other person feels pressured/guilty/resentful. Topics of sex become harder and harder, and the cycle gets worse instead of better.
It may sound counter-intuitive but most of these couples really benefit from taking penetrative sex off the table for a period of time. This helps them explore new, fun ways of getting their sexual and emotional needs met - and this is where the games come in!
Pillow Play has been designed with these couples at heart. Not only will it help people increase their sex drive, but it will also help couples find a fun & pleasurable middle ground with zero pressure.
5. Increase your sex drive
Libido and sex drive changes for many reasons. And the more we prioritize intimacy and pleasure, the more we desire it!
These games have been designed to help you deepen your capacity for pleasure, discover more about your bodies, and learn more about what turns you both on. When you do this, you will also increase your sex drive as a result!
When we have an open, fun, curious state of mind, we are more likely to discover new pleasures and increase our desire for intimacy and sex.
6. More skills and sexual confidence
The sex education we get in life is not good enough. Every game has been designed to not only be really fun, but to teach you vital skills for a life of happy and pleasurable sex and intimacy.
The games include skills such as tantric massage and tantric sex, sensual touch, foreplay techniques (eg handjobs, vulva massage etc), sexual communication, exploring kink and power, sexual edging, initiating sex, increasing desire, asking for what you want, body confidence, role play, exploring new fantasies, taking nudes, and much more!
This will help you feel more sexually confident.
7. Deepen your sexual chemistry and compatibility
Do you sometimes feel more like best friends than lovers?
Going from mild to seriously spicy, the 15 games cover a huge range of topics and skills, meaning there will be something for everybody.
No matter what style of sex you enjoy or what great sexual intimacy looks like for you, these games have been designed to appeal to all of the different ways humans love to connect erotically.
You’ve heard of the 5 love languages? Well these games deliberately explore all of the erotic languages; the erotic blueprints and the different sexual styles.
When you know your own erotic style you will understand much more about how to turn each other on and have the hottest sex of your life.
8. More ideas for sex and date nights
Stop turning to porn for erotic inspiration! Porn is not based on real life, and the type of sex shown there doesn’t do it for everyone.
These games can be ‘foreplay’ to a steamy night, and they can also be the main event. Either way, you will have many more ideas for life.
How do we play sex games for couples?
Check out Pillow Play - There are some free videos and a welcome video you can sample before deciding whether Pillow Play is right for you and diving into the entire course. It also includes a one page PDF which summarizes all of the games and videos that are included.
Get it as gift - Rather than spending money on a fancy dinner or physical gifts, Pillow Play is a great option for couples who want to invest in their relationship and sex life. There is an option at checkout to purchase it as a gift - what a thoughtful surprise!
Schedule it - schedule some time during your next date night to check out Pillow Play together - if we don’t schedule it, we don’t always do it!
Communicate! Not sure whether or not your partner would be interested in sex and intimacy games for couples? Remember communication and consent is vital for a happy and pressure free sex life!
It could be a good idea to send them this blog or perhaps share the link to Pillow Play to allow them to read up in their own time. Bring it up without any pressure to see whether sex games for couples are something you are both interested in exploring.
Reach out if you have any questions, or book in a free 15 minute call.
Enjoy!
Alice
Alice Child - Somatic Sexologist, Sex Therapy & Sex Counsellor - helps people achieve happier and healthier sex lives through 1:1 sex coaching, couples sex counselling, hens parties, and workshops. Book a session here.
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