Why is Sex Still Taboo?

Reviewed by Alice Child, Somatic Sexologist 

Somatic Sexologist Alice Child explains why sex and pleasure is still taboo and how to make it a normal, healthy part of life.

This guide contains general advice only. If you need more tailored support, please book in a session.

Sex is the most normal, natural thing in the world…what happened?

Why is sex a taboo?

By 2025, you’d think the rise of online information, sex positivity, and cultural openness would mean we’re finally comfortable talking about sex. But the truth is far more complicated.

Despite more openness and acceptance, talking about sex is still taboo. But why?

Lack of Sex-Positive and Trauma-Informed Education or Care

One of the clearest signs that sex remains taboo is the difficulty in finding sex-positive, trauma-informed care or education. Many people struggle to find healthcare providers, therapists, or educators who can talk about sex without shame, judgment, or outdated assumptions.

A lot of medical professionals often aren't trained to have open, shame-free conversations about sex, especially when it comes to pleasure or trauma-informed care. This means that even your doctor might not feel comfortable or willing to bring up the topic of sex, meaning you miss out on vital infomation about your health or body.

This lack of education and openness leads to real harm like ingrained sexual shame, misdiagnosed or ignored sexual health issues, shame around masturbation and desire, and care that fails to acknowledge consent violations or past trauma.

Sex Ed is Failing in Schools

Many schools still don’t offer proper sex education. It’s either outdated, fear based, or skipped entirely. Instead of teaching young people about consent, healthy relationships, pleasure, and identity, most programs stick to the basics like anatomy, STIs, and “don’t get pregnant.” With so little funding or support behind it, sex ed often ends up being confusing, or just plain unhelpful. Without honest, inclusive education, students are left to figure things out on their own. Usually that means misinformation, shame, making risky decisions and missing opportunities to learn about their bodies in a healthy, empowering way.

Another issue with sex education is that it often gets cut when school budgets are tight. Without enough funding, schools lack trained teachers and updated materials, so lessons on important topics get rushed or skipped.

Cultural and Generational Shame

Let’s be real, many people grew up in homes where sex was either not talked about at all or treated like something shameful. That silence or awkwardness doesn’t just disappear; it often gets passed down unintentionally.

So much of what we know about sex comes from uncomfortable parent conversations, silence and shame, or a rushed birds-and-bees talk.

If you want to overcome your sexual shame and find your sexual liberation, read this article and book in a session.

Pleasure Is Still a Dirty Word

Pleasure is still treated like a dirty word, something people whisper about or avoid talking about altogether. For many people, the idea that sex can be about enjoyment, not just reproduction or morality, still feels uncomfortable.

You can see it in how sex education often skips over desire and what people enjoy. When pleasure is left out of the conversation, sex starts to feel like a chore or a guilty experience instead of a natural, joyful human experience.

Unfortunately, the stigma runs especially deep for women. There's still a belief that ‘sex is for the man’ and it’s to please their partner rather than for their own enjoyment. This kind of sexual shame can make it difficult for women to express what they want and often holds them back from exploring their own bodies, desires and self-pleasure.

Conservative and Religious Beliefs

A lot of the discomfort around sex is rooted in old-school conservative and religious values. In many communities, religion still plays a big role in shaping the belief that sex is sinful or dirty, and only acceptable in certain situations, like marriage, kids, and within heterosexual relationships.

Unfortunately, those beliefs haven’t disappeared just because society looks more open on the surface. Even if we don’t agree with them ourselves, those messages are still deeply ingrained in our society.

Outdated Fears

Before birth control and STI prevention, sex was riskier—and that led to a lot of fear-based messaging. But even though we now have science, contraception, and much more information, those old fears are still deeply rooted into how we talk about sex (or don’t).

Some of that fear was even written into law. For years, legislation criminalised or suppressed certain sexual behaviours, especially for marginalised groups. The fear and shame that came from those policies still shape attitudes today.

The Impact of sex being a taboo topic

What happens?

• People aren’t taught how to talk about boundaries or desire

• Consent violations become more common

• Many people grow up disconnected from their bodies or sexual needs

• Building healthy relationships becomes a struggle

• Healthy relationships breakdown because of sexual differences or awkwardness

• People feel isolated, anxious, and unsure of what’s normal

• Young people turn to the internet or porn for answers

• STIs and unwanted pregnancies are more common

• People feel shame or hide their sexuality or desires

• More and more people feel body image shame and dysphoria

  
  
  
  

What now?

If we want people to feel safe, confident, and free to enjoy sex in healthy, pleasurable ways, we need to break down the taboos. Sexual wellness and pleasure is a human right and having a positive sex life boosts mental and physical health as well as our relationships.

Additionally, a consent aware, shame-free society that receives comprehensive sex education is less likely to suffer from high rates of sexual violence, assault and  abuse.

That means we should:

• Push for better sex education that helps teachers and medical professionals understand pleasure, consent, and trauma-informed care

• Create space for honest, open talks about desire, identity, and boundaries without judgment.

• Supporting research that focuses on marginalised voices and experiences.

• Normalise talking about sex in healthy respectful ways

Sex doesn’t have to be scary or shameful. It can be something natural, and beautiful, but only if we break the stigma.

Best,

Alice x

Alice Child - Somatic Sexologist, Sex Therapy & Sex Counsellor - helps people achieve happier and healthier sex lives through 1:1 sex coaching, couples sex counselling, hens parties, and workshops. Book a session here.